I can remember my 20’s and 30’s and even my 40’s call me crazy but 50 was a goal for me. I looked at this number more like a milestone than anything else, could not wait to get there, wanted to scream YES I MADE IT! Not sure why, but having lived with insecurity and doubt and being gay I just thought it was far fetched and maybe not achievable. Now at 50 it’s the strangest thing, I don’t feel 50, what the hell does it feel like anyway? I am still me, wiser maybe, more experienced, less tolerant of the nonsense but what is being 50 suppose to feel like. At times I am ready to hit the club scene, dance all night, stay up laughing and having fun. Then there are those times when dam, I am ready for bed at 6pm (is that 50) who knows.
What I do know is what being 50 means is that you are still learning, still making mistakes, still being you in all your own skin. I actually enjoy being 50 it suites me.