It’s interesting, life and how it at times can be the most overwhelming force one has to deal with.
I often brag of how transparent I am, or at least I try to be. The reality is I often find I am an open book, but only in certain chapters.
Is there a greater sense of balance if your end goal is transparency and you truly are transparent? Opening the book, sharing every chapter?
My goal for 2019 is to do just this, share more of what I have tried to hold in. Honestly the thought of this makes me nauseous but I am diving in.
I need greater balance, I need to find and accept a level of evenness in my life. At almost 52 it’s becoming to hard now to hold it all together. My balancing skills I guess you could say are off kilter.
So what does this mean? Do I become more vocal about my depression? Do I become more open about events in my adolescence? I don’t have an answer I honestly don’t, but I am going to try.
What I do know is that I long for a sense of serenity, a feeling of contentment, knowing everything is in its place. Will that help…with my balance? Not sure.
2019 is going to be an interesting year I can feel it. A year for growth and discovery, a year for change and development. I look forward to it, with a sense of nervous anticipation.
For some it’s the end of a week, good, bad, or indifferent.
Some are thankful to have made it through and are looking forward to sleeping it off tomorrow. Others may be thinking YEA!!! awesome week let’s celebrate.
Ask yourself this for a moment, if you’ve had a rough one is there something you have learned from it? Something that you can pinpoint and say this was my lesson learned?
I know for myself I reflect on my weeks often, think back of the should of, could of, wish I had. However, what I have also learned is that rough waters prepare you for your best.
Smooth sailing is ideal, yes no doubt but if everyday is smooth sailing with no rough waters do we actually learn?
After the waves have settled and I realize that yes Eddie you are still afloat. I honestly try to peel back those “rough waters” and think ok where was it the roughest and how can I learn from this. Does it work all the time! No, let me be very honest, but I will be the first to happily admit I am still a work in progress.
So, yea its Friday and for me this week has been a very good one. However, I am going to bring this week to a close with reflection.
Could something have been handled differently, did I over reach? over promise?
I appreciate the calm but hold tightly to my lifejacket as the opportunity for improvement is only a wave away.
Just saw the tree being lit at Rockefeller Center via NBC.
Wishing for some odd reason I was there, however I am in a hotel room in Dallas.
It’s prettier than I remember over the last couple of years, much more festive. Being a Native New Yorker I sadly have to admit I have never been to the actual lighting ceremony.
Not sure if it’s my age, the fact my daughter is growing up, my nieces and nephews are growing into these beautifully talented young people or what but I am feeling a bit nostalgic.
Watching as the cameras pan over the audience listening to the amazing Diana Ross singing beautiful holiday melodies is stirring something in me.
I want to get home, want to get in the mood for the season. This is going to be a very special one as my precious daughter will be home with me and my partner. My mom lives close now, my aunt and uncle are here and my in laws are just beautiful people.
There is a feeling of thankfulness that is becoming more profound each day, I no longer resist it. I embrace it, I am learning to let it go and receive the warmth of happiness, the celebration of life, to see things with warm eyes.
It is that time of year and I will not push it away as I have done in the past, nope no longer.
So I welcome you happiness, I embrace you happiness.
It’s my turn now, I too want to smile from the inside out.
The night before Thanksgiving
Sitting here not really too tired, napped today and was off work with some time to reflect. Hard to believe it’s already this time of year, it’s seems to have gone by so quickly. When I think about “thanks” what comes to mind for me is;
- My daughter
- My husband
- My health
- My family
- My continued opportunities
I hope I reflect my thanks, I hope people see how very grateful I am. We need to try to smile more often, say thank you, and make eye contact when speaking with people.
Our needs are often quite simple and free of charge, I cannot seem to remember ever charging someone for a smile or simply saying hello.
We can do this, we can be thankful and we should.
Exhausting, Huge, Messy, Powerful, Devoted, Faithful, Loving…….Great Dane…I love my CoCo
A bit confused as to whether or not I should convert my profile on FB to a page? Thoughts?
Interesting statement right? Saw this on Pinterest and thought well hell we have to don’t we?
But do we, do we grow through what we go through? I have mixed feelings with this right now.
Instinctively I know we do, you know that old “lesson learned” and “fool me once” none sense but yet how often do we circle right back and do the same shit over again? and maybe again after that.
We grow, you grow, I have grown, especially this last year, and we try our best to pull from our experiences of growth the lessons learned both good and bad.
You learn to maybe not post that even though it’s your own dam opinion just because it’s not worth the backlash from some and they mean more to you in end.
You learn to keep your eyes on the prize and maybe just maybe after all these years you will be recognized for doing what truly does inspire you.
You learn to be more observant and watch, listen, and think before reacting in anyway.
You learn to appreciate and be thankful for every opportunity presented, you learn to be humbled and gracious.
You learn a smile can speak volumes, eye contact can provide encouragement, a lean in shows you are truly hearing them, hearing there message.
You learn…you grow through what you go through….indeed.