Thinking out loud

Sitting here in a coffee shop thinking out loud, thinking of where I am in life, what I have done, but more importantly what I still want to do.

I find myself searching within for the point in life where I feel satisfied, it’s not there, not for me. Is it wrong to want more? Is it wrong to not be satisfied with ones present state or situation?

At 52 I still am quite confident that I can do anything and everything I have always wanted to, is that not the right way to feel, I don’t know.

There is boundless adventure out there I know it and I was meant to be a part of it, I am just unsure of how to actually partake. It kind of reminds me of my much younger days when I would see other kids jumping rope (double dutch) and there was always that one kid trying to figure out when to jump in an enjoy.

To explain this feeling of wanting adventure, wanting a change is not easy for me which is another struggle since I am so very transparent. However, I know I was meant for bigger things, greater things I can feel it. How do I connect to it though?

Is it a matter of making change in what I would say it my normal routine? Is it reading a new book, cutting my hair, learning a language, or simply going on an adventure?

Interesting times when you have the world in your hands but are unsure what to do with?

Can life be like a balloon ride?

Its Sunday, I am just closing out three weeks of work travel and I am finally reflecting on all of this.

Three states, three different cities and I still want more. The idea of traveling excites me, it keeps my attention,  and peaks my interest. In addition to the travel it’s also the people, the opportunity to meet and work with the people is such an added bonus.  I feel humbled to be a part of something so much bigger than me the individual.

I think sometimes of how I was always told to just get a job and just do that job, your not really college material, so on and so on. The words attached to you as a child, a pre-teen, and then young person can be ever lasting.

At 52 I still am haunted at times at the self doubt in-stilled in me at such a young age, it truly impacts your life. When encouragement is deficient in your early impressionable years it changes the way you look at everything, how you feel about every situation.

Not worthy is something I often think and feel especially when I am told things like, great job, you did well, your such a value and any other positive reinforcements. My goal is to help, to provide a level of support in which others feel and see through my actions that they truly matter. I refuse to have anyone feel less then, as if they don’t count or have no relevance.

I will take that plane, book that hotel, rent that car, whatever it takes as long as I can help someone. Inclusion is key and will always be such an important aspect of what I do. The ability to make people feel there true value is a reward in itself and if I can be a part of that, it’s a win for me.

The idea of Servant Leadership is a methodology in which I truly believe in. I continue to learn myself, each day there is a renewed opportunity for knowledge gain.

Can life be like a ballon ride? Exciting, adventurous, and colorful? I think so, if you allow yourself to reflect, appreciate, and truly be humbled you can see the value that has been afforded to you as you take that balloon ride.

 

Travel woes?

We have all been there and it’s never a pleasurable experience; flight delays!

Been up since 5:30am EST and should have known something was going to ripple this day from the moment I got on the infamous TSA Pre-check line.

“Sir…you have been randomly selected for additional screening” Oh yay just want I wanted. Get through that head upstairs and realize I no longer have my wallet!

Ugh..too early for this! Head back down and see the TSA agent looking around waving a wallet, well my wallet. I was actually quite grateful to him as a lost wallet is another whole journey I don’t want to be on.

Thanks to a last minute travel schedule change my new seat is at the very baaaaaaaaack of the plane. Before we take off the pilot announces air traffic in Atlanta and a one hour delay.

Get to Atlanta finally at the furthest terminal away from my connecting flight and the clock is ticking…as I have gained some weight (and I say this with an honest side eye daring you to judge me) I am not running through no airport. I did walk as fast as I could, but as to be expected I missed the flight.

Having called Delta for assistance they advised the only flight was at 8:00pm EST mind you it’s now only 10:00am, so this little camper was not very happy.

What I will say is this, you have two choices; be thankful or be not-thankful. I went to the stand by gate as suggested by the agent and the gate agent was amazing! Friendly, empathetic, and willing (let me say this again, WILLING TO HELP ME). although I could not get on that next flight she was able to confirm me a seat at 3:00pm and a better seat than my original.

I chose thankful, I made sure she knew how very thankful I was to her for helping me. I will say this though dealing with Delta over the phone is a nerve racking thing, it can get to the best of you, work that very last nerve. In person, the team are amazing.

Reflections

Is there ever a time when you don’t reflect, think back to other times, lost adventure, the what if’s?

I am not sure if it is an age thing, I am 51 and at a point where I am now seeing things through different lenses. I don’t miss some things and part of my reflection process clearly reminds me of that; for example going out every evening to the clubs.

It could also be that my daughter had done her first college visit and life it self is getting very real. My emotions are all over the place right now, but I know it will all balance, or at least I hope so.

When your 51 do you start thinking about the rest of your life? Am I being over worried for no reason? I have no idea, but there is a part of me that feels like I need to get stuff done already, travel, check off that bucket list.

I am going to start journaling more as it actually helps my anxiety a bit.

Eddie

Célébrez la France

In Key West getting ready to bring our vacation to a close and we decided to try someplace we had never tried.

Banana Cafe on Duval was this place for us this evening. We walked two blocks down and were seated inside by Michael and then our French Cuisine journey began.

We began with a beautiful charcuterie board while we awaited our meals. I dined on a stuffed pork chopped (goat cheese, bacon, and spinach) and Steve dined on a Shrimp Crepe. The photo collage does not do justice to the taste and actual presentation of the meal.

For desert (believe it or not something we normally don’t have) I had La Danny Crepe and Steve had a Flourless Chocolate Tart with an expresso. Let me say this au-delà délicieux!

The atmosphere is warm and reminiscent of a French Cafe, right here in Key West. It’s a beautiful spot we will visit again.

As we were leaving and I looked back there is a cute bench that happen to have a hen and her young sitting there just enjoying the day! Great visit highly recommend.

Key West…..

We all have our space where we can go to relax for us it’s Key West, Florida.

This time we drive in from Miami which was a first for us, and the ride wasn’t that bad. I will say it was air conditioning weather and we kept the top on the Jeep we rented.

Coming back to the Keys is liking coming home to family. This is a place where you can truly unwind and let your hair down.